Welcome to our blog, Don’t Do Dumb Things. We are three brothers—Ryan, Davis, and Christian—who took a look at the world and concluded that really the only thing it’s missing is a new blog. There just seems to be a shortage of people who will step up to the plate and share their opinions and the details of their lives on the Internet. We weren’t content to stand idly by while these needs go unmet, so here we are, hoping to provide you a little diversion and enjoyment. Before continuing, you should know our editorial positions on a few key issues:
Sharks: We fervently support the eradication of all sharks. All talk of sharks being critical to our ecosystem is propaganda emanating from Big Shark interests. Sharks want to eat every human man, woman, and child, and they are closer than you realize to reverse engineering SCUBA technology that will allow them to roam freely outside of the ocean. This is a war, people. Wake up.
Tyler Perry: We are against Tyler Perry, but we are firmly pro-Mo’Nique.
Politics: We are 99.99% certain that you don’t know what you’re talking about when it comes to politics. Same goes for us. As a result, we will mostly avoid topics of a political nature. Exceptions may include George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and Joe Biden. While we may or may not agree with the politics of these men, it’s safe to say that we wish we had gone to college with all of them. Imagine it: Ol’ Joe smooth-talking the professors, W. in charge of the parties, and Billy C. responsible for bringing the ladies around.
Finally, a quick word about the origin of the name of our blog, Don’t Do Dumb Things. As we mentioned above, the three of us are brothers, hailing from a family of six children in total—four boys and two girls. For many years our parents had a family full of young children to contend with, an endeavor made even more difficult by the fact that they had three boys in a row - us. Although our parents were loving and kind, discipline was often called for, and in meting out justice our parents sought to teach us that the particular behavior in which we were engaged was not acceptable, i.e. “Christian, we don’t go number one in the tree house.” Because this reproof was more than likely to be followed by Christian going number two in the tree house, our parents sought a more general principle, one that could be applied as a standard of behavior in many different situations. At some point along the way, our Dad came up with, “Don’t do dumb things.”
The more we think about it, the more struck we are by the brilliance of this phrase: Simple, incisive, and yet broad enough to forbid any number of impulses to which an unruly bunch of boys would otherwise have been inclined to submit. It reminds us fondly of our parents, family, and childhood, and it continues to serve as a guiding principle in our lives, because, to be honest, there are still a lot of dumb things we kind of want to do. When we recently found ourselves out on the golf course shooting roman candles at each other, our Dad biting his tongue and hoping against hope that some hidden adulthood would surface to stop the insanity, it became clear: It may be time we adopted the mantra ourselves.
Contact: You can reach any of our authors by sending an email to: author’s first name @ dont do dumb things dot com. We’d love to hear from you.
Site Design: Garrett Maudsley of Mystery Machine Media Digital. We don’t care for Garrett on a personal level, but we have to admit that he does good work.
Banner Design: Slade Combs of Culture Advertising. We won’t deny that Slade is talented. We will deny that Davis had to give him free foot rubs for a year to persuade him to work on our site.