Guest Post: The Bum’s Crevasse
Posted by Christian | Filed under Uncategorized
Christian here; first a bit of house keeping. One of our regular commenters told me recently that lately our site rejects all his comments automatically. Is this happening to anyone else (I’m not talking about some comments going into moderation until approved, but rather them totally disappearing)? If so, please leave a comment and let me know. Just kidding, email me at email@example.com.
Ok, Here’s a post from D3T enthusiast, Layne. I don’t know him very well, so I’m not familiar with any of the people in this story. Thanks for the post, Layne! I hope to meet you in person someday!
When I transferred to BYU in January of 2003, I was already engaged to be married in the middle of February. So I had one of those awkward interim periods in which I needed a place to stay, but couldn’t sign a regular semester-long contract. And because he lacked imagination, my bishop wouldn’t give me an ecclesiastical endorsement if I was living with my fiancee. I had to find a place to live until it was BYU-legal for me and the future Mrs. to cohabitate. Luckily (or unluckily, as it turned out) for me I had a friend already attending the Y. Four weeks before I moved down to Provo, he assured me that YES, he was sure that I could stay at their house for a few weeks. He just needed to clear it with his roomies first. A few weeks passed. Two weeks to the move, he again assured me that while he still hadn’t double-checked with his roomies, YES, he was sure that I could stay at their house. Great, I had a place.
Well, school was starting Monday, and on Sunday night I was driving to Provo for the semester. On the way down I called my buddy and had the following conversation (To protect the guilty, let’s call my friend “Kristian”):
Me: Hey Kristian, see you in a bit.
Kristian: Um, err, let me talk to my roommates and I’ll call you back in a bit.
Me: Dude, school starts tomorrow! Are you serious? You said there was a spot at the house! I’ve turned down other offers already. I’m screwed!
Kristian: Oh yeah, I guess it does start tomorrow. Yeah, come by, we’ll figure something out.
Me: (Thinking “Crap, this really sucks.” Sigh.) Ok. See you soon.
Well, after a tour of the house, a few things were obvious immediately:
1) The place was stink-hole. (A couple weeks after moving in, I distinctly remember “Friend” dry-heaving after warming some chili con carne in the microwave who’s last cleaning was 10 years prior. There was more food on the 6 walls of that microwave than there is in many home’s food pantries. Yuck. I won’t even tell you about the shower.)
2) There was no place for me to lay my head. I was toast.
Then when all seemed to be lost, I went upstairs and saw a door about 3 feet high. Hmm. What’s in here? The “Bum’s Crevasse” I was told. The Bums Crevasse was a little attic crawl space. It was 4 feet wide by 8 feet long, with the ceiling starting at 4.5 feet tall and sloping down to meet the floor 8 feet later. A tiny triangle room full of suitcases and other junk. For 6 weeks I slept in a sleeping bag on a thermarest camping pad in the Bum’s Crevasse. My roommates charged me the same amount for sleeping in a broom closet that they paid to sleep in a bed, have a closet, desk, and other amenities that I only dreamt of. Thanks for the great deal guys! Being a bum is expensive I guess…
Given my experience, this guy is paying somewhere in the neighborhood of $350-$425 a month for this cozy setup
Luckily for me, Jami still wanted to marry me and I moved out 6 weeks after I moved in. Hallelujah.
What’s the worst place you’ve ever lived?