The 40 Word Debate: Avatar Edition
Posted by DDDT | Filed under Uncategorized
You know what’s fun? Debates about things. You know what the problem is with debates in real life? Someone is always willing to be more long-winded, more pedantic, and more obscure than everyone else. Because of that, most debates usually end up being won by the nerdiest and most determined blowhard, rather than by the person who is right. Debates are great, blowhards are sooo not. (Unless you happen to be the biggest blowhard in the room yourself, in which case blowhards are mostly just skilled and victorious debaters).
To solve this problem, DDDT presents 40 Word Debates. We want to have a safe place to work out the world’s pressing issues, without the threat that someone’s going to go off about how the whole thing may be resolved by resort to Kantian ethics and Darwin’s pre-Galapagos discoveries. You won’t find that here. That’s because all of the antagonists are limited to 40 words per statement. (So are the commenters, by the way.) With just 40 words, you can’t blather on and on about what you learned in your awesome college poli-sci class or how some of your best friends happen to be red-heads or whatever. Get to the point and win or walk away. With this revolutionary new format for truth-finding, we expect to resolve most of the Big Questions probably by mid-Spring. Just one more way DDDT endeavors to improve your life. And protect you from the nerds.
Antagonists: Davis (in black); Ryan (in Na’vi blue)
Proposition: Avatar is awesome.
Davis: Avatar is now the highest grossing movie of all time. This is the sign that our new dolphin overlords have been waiting for, indicating that human stupidity is at an all time high and we are ripe for the conquering.
Ryan: I’m not here to defend Avatar’s receipts. I’m here to say it is a very entertaining movie. Are there better movies? Sure. But do I walk through my gloomy earth life dreaming of a better existence on Pandora? EVERY DAY.
(See? This lady gets it)
Davis: Our dolphin overlords will recognize your enjoyment of Avatar as a sign of imbecility and sentence you to labor in the salt pits. The plot was laughable, the themes were hackneyed, and the vaunted effects were reminiscent of Roger Rabbit.
Ryan: Because dolphins don’t enjoy amazing action scenes and pervasive bioluminescence. Humans do. Rather, humans who don’t take their Professor Smartpants hats into blockbuster movies with them. Cliches aren’t cliches when they end up in aerial battles with huge flying dragons.
Davis: I like an action blockbuster as much as the next guy. Iron Man, Star Trek, Batman – sign me up. The problem wasn’t that Avatar was a sci-fi shoot-em-up, it was that it was a sci-fi shoot-em-up done very, very poorly.
Ryan: Suspending your disbelief is like hooking your pony tail fibers to a dragon’s antenna thing. It’s scary and hard to do. But once you’ve done it, the payoff is huge. Maybe you just didn’t dare to hook into the PandoraMatrix.
Davis: If by “hook into the PandoraMatrix” you mean, “sniff paint thinner until you’re so stupid that you enjoy a $500 million dollar episode of the Smurfs” then I guess I didn’t dare.
Ryan: Seriously, you didn’t enjoy that last battle? That was epic. No smurf antagonist ever climbed into a giant humanoid robot suit while his shoulder was actually on fire. Can’t we enjoy something even while we’re kind of laughing at it?
Davis: Can I enjoy something while I’m laughing at it? Yes. See here, or my relationship with you. I’m all about appreciating something for what it’s meant to be, including mindless entertainment. I’d just prefer that it be, you know, entertaining.
Ryan: You wouldn’t know entertaining if it stampeded across an impossibly lush jungle at you. Could it be that your own long affiliation with evil planet-killing corporations biased you against the good guys? The tree of souls weeps for you.
Let us know who won, or add your own arguments. The 40 word rule remains in effect in the comments, blowhards.