You’re Next, Cherry Hill
Posted by Davis | Filed under Uncategorized
One of my earliest memories is of being terrified of the long, covered water slide at Cherry Hill. Read the rest of this entry »
Dudes
Posted by Ryan | Filed under Guys
When you get married, you sign up for a totally new life of permanent bliss (obviously!). There’s a lot of great things about marriage. If I list them, you’re going to think I’m sappy, so just trust me that I know what they are (for example, I know that “cooperation” is a great thing about marriage). The thing about getting married, though, is that if you’re a guy, you’re marrying a girl. Think about that for a second.
I moved out of an apartment full of guys to marry a girl. They were cranky and lazy and mostly intolerable, and I would never marry them, not for millions of dollars and an impenetrable prenup. But they did have a few special insights about my needs in life. They knew that sitting slumped over on the couch together for a long time was important, no matter what we were watching on TV, or even if the TV was off. Guys get that just sitting there in the family room doing nothing but talking about really random stuff is kind of a mental hygiene. Brainstorming about good inventions or funny date ideas or ways to make a football out of garbage, or what kinds of Mexican food would be good combined with pizza.
We spent a lot of time sitting around doing this kind of stuff in college. It’s interesting now to look back on how these strange conversations developed, and where they took us. One such conversation Read the rest of this entry »
Waiting
Posted by Christian | Filed under Uncategorized
I went out to eat a few days ago with 5 guys from my company. We didn’t go to 5 Guys, but now that I see the word play possibilities I wish we had, because the older I get the more I like dad humor (I can’t tell you how happy I was a few months ago when I needed some staples, and walked into Staples and asked the goth high school cashier if they carried staples. It was hilarious, trust me.)
It’s Here. It’s Really, Finally Here.
Posted by Davis | Filed under Uncategorized
In my experience, a person’s reaction to the arrival of football season can be predicted by assessing their spouse’s reaction to the arrival of football season. And then inverting it. Read the rest of this entry »
Fisher Price Crushed My Dreams and Saved My Career
Posted by Ryan | Filed under Career
Sure I’m a lawyer, but I’ve always had an exit strategy. I think most lawyers do. Maybe you have to, to keep yourself sane in this business. When you’re in law school, you hear from all kinds of people– uncles, cousins, uncles of cousins– that you won’t like being a lawyer. They say it very nicely. “Law school, huh? Well that’s good. You know, my buddy is a lawyer. I think he really hates it. But you might be different.” Or sometimes its more like “well, you’ll find other things to make you happy. Not your family though, you won’t see them. Maybe you’ll really love your commute.”
So even though I was pretty sure I’d enjoy lawyering, some part of me always kept its distance, making plans for an escape if I ever needed one. I guess by the time I graduated from law school I had a bunch of possible escape routes. I was okay entering a profession I would surely detest, because at any given moment I could easily jump off the train and become a businessman, novelist, song-writer, judge, politician, philanthropist, community organizer, or inventor. That’s not a made up list. That is the actual list of exit strategies I had at one point (okay, not really community organizer). I considered each of them to be somewhat plausible, and I planned to just follow my career along its path and watch what doors opened up. Maybe I’d be sitting at my desk and someone would call up their favorite lawyer and tell me they needed a good philanthropist, and I’d be just the person. I had faith that one of these doors would eventually open, so I curated my list with great care.
Pick up the phone, Bill. You know you want to.
Song-writer got knocked off the list pretty fast. Read the rest of this entry »
Small Friday Fun
Posted by Christian | Filed under Uncategorized
No time for a lengthy post this morning. Most of you have seen the short Basil Marceaux video by now, but hopefully not many of you have seen this full length video with subtitles. After the first minute he’s at a different venue with new good things to say.
The Art of Painting War
Posted by Davis | Filed under Uncategorized
It is literally impossible for me to watch a movie about war without spending most of the movie obsessing over the question of how much courage I would show if called to arms. Read the rest of this entry »
Bianca
Posted by Ryan | Filed under The Ladies, Vacations
We went on a vacation to Southern California last month. Each year my wife’s whole family goes to a beach house that belongs to her aunt, so it’s a big family trip. My wife is one of four sisters. People assume that families of all girls must be such peaceful, bashful groups of passive sweetness, but it turns out that any family dominated by a large number of girls is one of the more cut-throat institutions you are likely to ever come across, just ahead of any random sampling of mothers-of-the-bride, and just behind actual pirates. Anyway, the Pews are great– we always have lots of fun with them, and like any good family of in-laws, they’re a little nuts. (Surprisingly, Macy has never noted anything odd or idiosyncratic about my family.)
We had a beautiful vacation this year. The motorcyclist that was thrown from his vehicle by a Pew driver on the PCH survived, and the junk food levels were kept in sufficient moderation that we didn’t have to give any of the kids an enema this year. Toward the end of the week, the whole family was outside playing a game of Koob on the beach. It was one of those perfect Southern California summer nights when the heat is dissolving around an ocean breeze and the sun hovers out over the water as a reminder to everyone in California that we are down to just one more hour of looking tanned and ripped. People were unwinding and having a good time and it was all extremely zen.
Last call for looking totally chill
There were people at the beach house next to ours this year, which was unusual. That night they were out on the dunes near our game drinking and laughing, a family with an older mother and several adult kids with various spouses and significant others. Their mom wandered over and spoke with Macy’s mom, and in literally less than one minute, the two were embracing. And it wasn’t a casual hug, it looked like it meant something. Read the rest of this entry »
The price of not living in the Mission Field
Posted by Christian | Filed under Uncategorized
I read this on JetSetCarina—who was reporting on her trip to NY—the other day:
“Where are you from?…
‘Utah!’ I responded to two cute girls, both from New York. It took them a couple minutes to ponder this statement.
‘I couldn’t live anywhere,” said Eliana, “Where wild animals could just wander into my house.’”
…
I (Christian) thought that was so funny. Wild animals? Just coming and going as they please?
Jadrienne: Mo-ooom, Sesame Street’s about to start but there’s a cougar on the couch again.
Mom: For the last time, Jadrienne, just deal with it! You know that’s his favorite spot and if you try to move him he might injure or kill you.
Jadrienne: {whining, pre-tantrum voice} But I want to watch Sesame Street and the stupid cougar is in my way!
Mom: Then why don’t you take your fancy airs and move to London where you won’t have to deal with this sort of thing! My goodness!
Dad: Which one of you broke the arm off the big Captain Moroni?
Chazz: The one in your room?
Dad: No, the big one. The one above the fireplace!
Brigdon: Why you looking at me?
Chazz: I didn’t do it.
Brielle: Me neither. It was probably a bear or a moose. The mooses have been particularly reckless lately; chasing the rattlesnakes around the kitchen table.
Dad: {Sigh} Freaking mooses. I’m so tired of them. In fact, I’ve just about had with ALL these animals. Honey, how are the wild animals wandering into the house all the time?
Mom: Through the door frame, I imagine.
Dad: Well, why don’t we keep the doors closed then?
Mom: Because we don’t have doors, dear. You know this. No one in Utah has doors. What do you think this is, an expensive motel in New York City?
Dad: That’s true. Good point.
Chazz: Remember when wolves ate 4 of our siblings in their beds?
Brielle: That was the worst. Sometimes I wish we didn’t live here.
…
But there is something else strange going on in Utah: all the HCG and plastic surgery billboards on the Interstate. What’s going on there? It’s embarrassing. Isn’t being the world capital of multi level marketing quite enough? Dr. Heidi, we want answers! (as well as any brochures you can send my way about buttocks implants for tall males with jelly bottoms. For a friend of mine.)
Our brother’s new Book:
Button Up:
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